yesterday and today.

yesterday was a series of events with the son, ezra. wacky child that he is woke up (in my bed again, of course) and was hiding from me under the blankets. playing some sort of spy game, with himself. finally after realizing the day was going to start without me, i dragged my lazy ass down to the shower with him in full sound-effect mode following behind. straight INTO the bathroom with me. at times, he will join me in the shower. not yesterday. no yesterday, he chose to stand on the closed toilet and DANCE. each time, i thought he left and would peek out, there he was, doing the mashed potato, or some other random hula dance. in his underwear. on the toilet. oh wow. it's not even 7 am. later, when my cousin's girls caroline and charlotte (whom i take care of) arrived, the fun continued. ezra concocted some game with caroline a main pawn in his plans. probably some thing to torture his sister, remy. caroline, being well, still tired herself as MOST NORMAL humans would be at this hour, backed out of his scheme. no biggie. oh but yes, to Lord Ezra this was major. He actually announced, fully irate, "CAROLINE HAS BETRAYED ME!" Let's just say my laughter did NOT improve the situation. Alas, his DREAM popped into his head. And my laughter spread to his body, as he LAUGHED OUT LOUD TO HIMSELF, remembering the details. Once he had fully retrieved all of it, from the "dream bank" he told me. Mom, "I had a dynamite dream. But the wackiest part was that I was interviewing someone eating a cookie the SIZE OF MARIE's (classmate) HEAD! It was sooo funny" Guess ya had to be there bud. Later, after bugging me all morning to play some game (that used to be MINE as a kid) he found, I found myself waiting for HIM. I called to him busy on the porch doing Goddess knows what...telling him, his time was up to play the game. At this point, he comes sauntering in with a plastic candy cane LAWN ORNAMENT and an oversized Cowboy hat on, and in his most aloof voice says, "okay mom...NOW we can play this game that you speak of..."

WHAT?

Then today, I deal with Remy. WEIRD. But her weirdness is so entirely different from his (mine). She dragged three stuffed animals through Trader Joe's in plastic bin tied with a shoelace. She told me someday she was gonna have big boobes like me. Cause she was gonna be a momma too. She played on the swings in the yard with the dog for a while. Then came to the back door and instead of opening it or knocking, proceeded to WOOF loudly and then scratch at the door. Chacha style. When I went down and asked her if she was trying to trick me, she denied it with a straight face she could hardly keep straight. She played about a while, and then finally yelled out, "MY NAME SHOULD BE CHANGED TO RINGO!"

these two.

i pinch, apparently.

avoiding bedtime routine (again), i am allowing remy to cuddle in with me on the couch, show she will promptly pass out and i can carry her off to bed. i am SO lazy sometimes. but i DO enjoy the cuddling. and the watching them while they sleep too.

me: i love you remy.
remy: i love you too. even though you pinched me.
me: WHAT?
remy: yah, you pinched me. a coupla times, actually.
me: when?
remy: thursday and monday. you did.
me: ummmm....
remy: you DID. mom. you did.

remy: i still love you. zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

girl's day. it's rough.

bathtime with remy:

telling me she is going to trap me, remy says:
"i will put you in HAND cuffs, and SHOULDER cuffs, and CHEEK CUFFS, and TONGUE cuffs, and FINGER CUFFS! andd....BOOBE CUFFS! and...toe cuffs....that's all momma."

me: "ouch"

later on---
remy: "why are your eyes THAT color momma?"
me: "what color?"
remy: "goo-ish green"
me: "umm...BLUE-ish? green?"
remy: "NO! i said GOO-ISH green! like, as in, the COLOR OF GOO!"
me: "oh i didn't know they were...well...what color are YOURS?"
remy: "just light green. so are ezra's..but daddy's, his are goo-ish green like yours"

i am not a pig.

last night- watching American Idol...i take off my very uncomfortable-by-the-end-of-the-day Bra and remy laughs...
Remy: Nice berrrr-Rah.
Me: Thanks, rem.
Remy: It's a berrr-Rah.
Me: Yep. Are you going to wear one someday?
Remy (now putting it on): Am i? Are my boobes gonna be floppy someday too?
Me: Are mine?
Remy: Yep. They are VERY floppy.
Me: Thanks rem.
Remy: You're welcome.

today-hanging on my back while i check my email...
Remy: Piggy-backy! Piggy-backy!
Me: Okay, you want a piggy-back ride, Rem?
Remy: no...no i don't. I want a mommy-back ride!
Me: Oh, a MOMMY-BACK RIDE???
Remy (in her most compassionate voice): Yes, mom, because you are NOT a pig. (adds a patronizing pat on the head)
Me: Thanks rem.

my daughter talks funny

so, i fully respect you Karma. dearly. i believe in you, and fear you. no, i don't have fear. but i do wonder how you know me SO well. anyway, it is quite clear dear karma, that you have delivered me not a daughter, no. you have delivered me a mini-meghan. the meghan, i refer to is my sister, 15 months younger than me. yes, conceived, before i could crawl or sprout teeth. she encroached on my babyhood, and i fully resented it.
evidence of this can be viewed in a variety of old curled at the edges yellowing photos where only her legs can be seen, as i am sitting on top of the rest of her rancid little baby body, smiling brightly. let's face the facts here, the bitch, was tryin to steal my spotlight, and i was the mean one? (and if i truly was so horrible, why was my mother snapping 'adorable' photos, and not rescuing the newborn?)
...anyway i spent my life torturing her in all ways wrong and hurtful. my attacks contained pretty much anything that she absolutely could NOT change about herself. yes, those were things i belittled her for. example, not being endowed with a cute lil nose like moi, i apparently (she remembers this far more vividly than me) felt the need to tell her-in case she'd never noticed-that, "wow, your nose is so strange, it looks like someone hucked it from a really far distance and it just LANDED SPLAT on your face!"...that's how she retells it, which garners all sorts of eyebrows raised, "wow, you were awful" hurled at ME...and "you poor thing" drizzled all over her...and of course, she loves it. wah, wah, get over it, i think. and anyway, if we are going to go into detail i remember it being MORE like, "your face exploded and all the parts got tossed up in the air and that's how your nose landed"...potatoes, poTAHtoes.

and of course there were many MANY more examples of my unabashed older sister CRUELTy that i spilled onto her innocent little (chubby) self as a child...drowning her in pain and humiliation...one of my favorite teasings, had to do with the way in which Meghan spoke. Meghan had a way of not quite pronouncing her R's...sure, we live in Boston, but this was simply a speech impediment. She was also dirty always. Had messy crazy hair, and liked to day dream and sing to herself. She would tell me she was lookin at the "bords in the sky"....oh was I awful. Everything she said. She couldn't have been WRONGER in my mind. In every way.

Now, I am mother to a new, small version of HER. I have been chosen to mother this girl that embodies most every quality of the sister I looked at as silly and dumb. And it is my lesson to learn how to see these traits as endearing and sweet. Oh Karma, you crafty little wench. Oh how you have certainly had the last laugh. Not a day goes by, where my husband and I do not look at each other and say, "And yet another reason for which she is Meghan..."

This morning while watching Sunrise Earth, an un-narrated nature show that documents a gorgeous sunrise from a new place each day..."Awright, I alweddy KNOW what Bords look like, now GET to the GOOD STUFF!"

Oh, did I mention she's insanely funny. Um, just like my sister...?

attempts at alone time

1. lone bathroom occupied by husband showering.
2. my "coffee stomach" is at wit's end
3. announce loudly, for husband's benefit, that toilet services would be helpful...however, actually state, "I REAAALLLLY HAVE TO POOOOOOOOOP"
4. son responds, "must you tell the world, mom? it doesn't need to be an ANNOUNCEMENT..." then he scoffs and actually rolls his eyes. 6 years old.
5. day rumbles on...take off to computer for a few minutes of solace. the two children home, find me. drats.
6. i proceed in my email reading and attempt to pretend they are not there. almost 2 year old decides to lay on my feet. meh. i can deal with that.
7. 6 and half year old draws next to me... perfect.
8. until..."doinga doinga boinga...doinga doinga boinga...doinga doinga boinga".
9. said approximately 3 THOUSAND times. super fun.
10. trick sister on Instant Messenger that i am prego. aprils fool's joke. she falls hard.
11. oh yah.
12. "shinga minga linga. dinga winga hinga"
13. who is this child? how is he related to me?
14. more of day rumbles by...laundry put away, tidying done. dishes dried.
15. sneak off up here to write this.
16. son begs me to "Get off the stinkin computer! You are WASTING our TIME!"
17. um, WHAAA?
18. yeah.
19. that's my life.
20. i love it always. shinga linga.