A DECADE GONE BY!!!

DHS CLASS OF 95 reunion!!! woooo!

voice is finaaaaaaaaaaaally coming back from that night...although i think i was due to be sick anyway...i thought i just talked too much/too loud!

turns out...i just drank too much! ahahahaha...

mary catherine gallagher! seriously, who do i think i am??? weirdo! love yah meg! 

YAY!!! annalee is born...

ANNALEE MARY...is here!

born...november 21, 2005
time...10:38 am
weight...6 lbs. 1 oz.
length...19 inches

i am so excited...yay! auntie manda...she is beautiful and healthy and all is well...yay. 

change...because things CAN't stay the same.

fathom it, i cannot
today she will
make me an aunt
a totally new role

a baby to love and
dote upon, that i
am not ultimately
responsible for

and there are
so many risks
involved and all
i can do is wait
and hope and send
the strongest love vibes

today i will (hopefully)
meet my niece and she
will be perfect

also, i will meet
my sister in a whole
new light...as a mother

change change change

man...he's getting older. not cleaner, i said...OLDER

my boy is going to be four years old. i am trying to wrap my head around the fact that it truly has been FOUR YEARS since i gave birth to him. incredible how much growth and learning happens in that period of time. teeth. hair. words. freckles. sentences. numbers. writing. jumping. pottying. sports. spelling. READing. back talk. tantrums. cuddling. and on and on it goes...feeling super tired right now. not very creative. so i will leave it at this...and with this photo of ezra MUCh younger. one of my faves... love love love. we have so much! 

TAKE MY QUIZ!

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

forever deep and strong

her eyes sell a depth
that swims in itself
it buys dangerousness

lingers permanently
edgey and new

she alarms and excites
with her bold self
she demonstrates
no fear...true spirit
free and alive

"uh oh" some say

"cultivate that!" say others

criminal-like bravery
leader-like staunch
laughs at warnings
belittles caution

she will be something
vast and wide and
this she will find
while searching
with freedom and passion
she will yearn
she will learn
she will turn

into a woman...
whose profit
she will earn

the office...

okay. so i decided i FINALLY GET why i love NBC's show 'the office' so much and incidentally, why it has experienced at least a moderate amount of success here in the U.S. Indulge me if you will, but have you been in the middle of a random situation, whether at home with your family, in a relationship, with your older relatives....or even (like the office)AT WORK, when all of a sudden you have this thought at how RIDICULOUS the moment/situation/conversation truly is????

You may actually stop and think to yourself, "Oh my goodness, this is so bizarre that it could really be material for a Saturday Night Live skit!...or better yet, an entire SHOW!" You feel like it's just so weird or so funny or so WHATEVER on so many levels, that it should be well, observed and LAUGHED AT by the public...and that is exactly the perspective from which the office is created and produced!

It's like they decided that there are so many weirdos and weird dynamics in an office/work type atmosphere doing such random tasks, having such silly interactions, and suffering from such 'work induced BOREDOM', that they needed to capture it in its rawest form. Hence, the unorthodox camera shots, interviews, and lack of laugh track, real plot, and actual JOKES. It is like someone on the show said to someone, "Hey you gotta come see where i work, it's friggin weird. And funny. And super depressing sometimes...but well worth the trip!"

So that person goes. Only it is each one of us, the individual viewer, sneaking in on all of it. And like a true guest right there in the office, they fill us in on their inner thoughts regarding their experiences at work. The result, to me, is pure HUMOR...i don't necessarily LAUGH out loud the WHOLE TIME, but i am thoroughly enjoying the entire episode. Every time.

I guess i should admit that i am fascinated by human behavior, and that is at the crux of this whole obsession (it also is responsible for my Laguna Beach addiction, but that is a whole other blog entry!). But really, what i find most interesting upon recent reflection, is that some people CLOSE to me do not like it. This confuses and intrigues me...and i must find out why why why!

In fact, my sister has stated she HATES it. When prodded to answer WHY, she could only say, it makes her uncomfortable to watch...HMMM. Interesting. WHY? Because it reminds you of your office? HMMM...must dig further there.

And my mom. Just doesn't think it is FUNNY. It is out of the norm of some of her favorite, well-written humorous sitcomy type programs. But she is open minded and has given it a chance. And still, NO. Hmmmm...interesting. I think it is fascinating. Plain and simple.

For now, all i know is i will keep tuning in...and furthermore, the next time, tony and i are struck dead in our tracks by that thought, "Man this could be a t.v. show right now!" i will think to the office and realize that is exactly where they got it all started...that, and they copied The British version.

trying...

little people feelings
big people words
bend
thwart
the plan
the philosophies

mild apologies
fall forth
dripping and drenching
the milk which
jumped ship
seeping into

rug pants psyche

deep breaths provide
only so much oxegyn
when there are so many
in need of fresh air

but this is life...to care.

Wind whips through
the scrawny trees
screaming, squeezing
Autumn right out of the

air
where

i am going to need
adjustment therapy
days so much shorter
i find it hard to be awake
at any given moment

my system shocked
hours stolen
like leaves from branches
defenseless, senseless

it almost seems violent

reliant on time
i have discarded my watch
television guides it
but hides it and so...
it goes, grows...soon
this too shall pass
(she knows)

prose:
something to be
found amongst the
loss all around

the world out there may
boast of dead leaves
and granite ground

the deeper i dig
the more i look in order
to SEE,
the more earth i
cultivate in you and in me...

and this i like to call
Mother Girth.

Halloween FUN!

just had to post a picture of me and my fine ladies...
britney...vivian...and robert palmer girl!

frankly, i think we are ALL ...simply IRRESISTIBLE! yah halloween!


LOVE LOVE LOVE costumes. 

katie's shower!

so i am going to be an auntie for the FIRST TIME!!! soon! we had my sister katie's shower on sunday...it was nice. she loved the diaper bag i picked out, and the TONS of stuff we stuffed in it! i am getting anxious to meet her little girl...and i am GOING IN THE ROOM when she delivers...i am looking at it as an opportunity to act as a doula...and if i like it, i may wanna pursue it! or maybe not...! not crazy about having to see her chach! hahaha. it is going to be amazing. truly. joy. love. 

My Blue Son

(written back in 2002...when ezra was a baby...)

Today Son, you were sick
And I realized my role
Is truly that of Mother.
You vomited and choked
As, for the first time,
You learned how to be sick.

Today, I changed my bile-scented clothes
Five times and smiled at your tiny mouth
While you slept soundly at my heart
I decided not to change out of pajamas
And slippers, with you being sick-
And me being, well, your Mother.

Today, just when I thought the ‘bug’
Had eluded you finally, it slowly
Crawled back, presenting itself as
Florescent pink pedialyte splatter
On the living room carpet
You whimpered, and I sang
‘Silent Night’ to you, stroking
your fine hair: silk melting between
my fingers.

Today my neck grew tired and stiff
In its set position on the couch
You rested on my belly, your fingers
Carefully fiddling with my drawstring

Today, my comfort didn’t concern me
Rather, I did notice beauty in vacuity
Outside the window, a great pine blowing
With a mighty force: strong, fierce.
Yet, through its branches existed a
Light blue sky, soft and flannel in its

Delicate power…quietly absorbing space
Each of the trees limbs were made more bold,
More breathtaking because of the
Blue emptiness surrounding them,
Fulfilling the image…complete.

Today, my baby blue Son,
I am your Mother, and the open space
Between my arms is filled with you.