My Blue Son

(written back in 2002...when ezra was a baby...)

Today Son, you were sick
And I realized my role
Is truly that of Mother.
You vomited and choked
As, for the first time,
You learned how to be sick.

Today, I changed my bile-scented clothes
Five times and smiled at your tiny mouth
While you slept soundly at my heart
I decided not to change out of pajamas
And slippers, with you being sick-
And me being, well, your Mother.

Today, just when I thought the ‘bug’
Had eluded you finally, it slowly
Crawled back, presenting itself as
Florescent pink pedialyte splatter
On the living room carpet
You whimpered, and I sang
‘Silent Night’ to you, stroking
your fine hair: silk melting between
my fingers.

Today my neck grew tired and stiff
In its set position on the couch
You rested on my belly, your fingers
Carefully fiddling with my drawstring

Today, my comfort didn’t concern me
Rather, I did notice beauty in vacuity
Outside the window, a great pine blowing
With a mighty force: strong, fierce.
Yet, through its branches existed a
Light blue sky, soft and flannel in its

Delicate power…quietly absorbing space
Each of the trees limbs were made more bold,
More breathtaking because of the
Blue emptiness surrounding them,
Fulfilling the image…complete.

Today, my baby blue Son,
I am your Mother, and the open space
Between my arms is filled with you.