Remy

your smile
is like a dirty secret
that you are always
trying to keep
to yourself
mixed with an
air of innocence
and pride

you are my daughter
with your
elfie ears
and struggling
hair growth
and a walk that
always tells the
world that you
have important things
to do
see
be

the lack of fear
you teach when doing
almost everything
reminds me
how much the rest
of us

live in it
learn to dread it
wish to shed it

and the lines that
form and shape
your eyes
when you smile
while attempting
a 'stunt'
teach patience
and support

each day you
toddle toward me
and wrap your
arms around
my neck and place
your cool cheek
on my chest, silently

i am aware

You tell me your
secrets in this
way of yours

and now,
i offer a
promise to
always be willing
to listen

always loving.

holding hands
we said words,
holding children
we made promises

we looked at one
another
sweaty from the work
of parenting in humidity

we were emotionally
reactive
and it left us
a little surprised

we saw past it:
the tears;
to the work and commitment
that is always there

we vowed to love
one another from the
center of our hearts

and we will

and present
was only us four
and two others
who have the 'power'
to make it happen

just as in the births
of the children
us and the two
health professionals;
necessary.

we may not include
'important people'
in things
most people do

but our love is
constantly shared
and our trust is
witnessed daily

we are married and
it is beautiful,
and yet also,
a very ordinary
feeling at the same time

a marriage is not one day

we have been married
since we first started

and until we end,
this will be so.

loving.

commitment

blossoming conflict
nurtures
feelings of confusion
and angst

growing and blooming

in her head, weary
her stomach, queasy
her heart, heavy

she challenges herself
to inquire
from where is this
rooted

routed

and the nature
of its 'whatness'

is it her overanalytical
habit of questioning
that is brought her here
in a place of
doubt and uncertainty?

indeed.

forcing her to reflect
in order to
act thoughtfully
and passionately
and soundly

or is it a damnation
that has her by the
heartstrings pleading
with her to let things
rest as they are

leave them be

CHANGE.

it consistently waters down
her coloring and wilts
her petals of power and strength

but her beauty and
purpose are greater
in number

she will indeed love
forever.

the need to lead
will have to take a
breather
to her commitment
to follow; her heart.