keeping on

She knows not where to begin
fill in
the time
between shitty wipes
and hubby gripes

it all blends and settles
like layers of rock

each settling differently
still in this concrete mold-
she resides on the top always

above it typically
beatifically

yet somehow she lost her
footing, her stronghold, her grace
the surface lost it's density
propensity

the more she reaches
to grab hold of it
of SOMEthing
of ANYthing

like loose silk
it slips
hauntingly away

GONE

all of her:
waxy and dangerous

she suddenly feels
like she is drowning
in a swell- of herself

one that builds and
recedes continously
and flames in her
chest and she cannot
let it out

release it

you see, it is trapped inside
her meditations
and her yoga
breaths
and her exercises and
her dialogues
and her inner most thoughts

STUCK

it is all around her
so breathes in
each exhalation
taking right back the
toxicity she just pushed
out

disgusted now and sick
to her stomach

vomit is not the
answer

unfortunately there
does not seem
to be one

not this time

so the tick tick tick
of her watch at 2 am
the heartbeat of this
heartache

is turned off

and is turned to
the tap tap tap
of the key board
beneath her heavy
soulbreathweightheartlife