needing

what i need
is some sort of flow
of movement

out of comfort
zone

hone

in on the
interior source
of talent
and pride

residual
stuff i cannot
explore outside
the parameters
of mommyhood

but does any
of that even
exist anymore?

what 'moves'
me these days?

a question i must
scratch at
catch that

throw it up
to myself
and scoop it
up and run
with it,
MVP of my own
damn team.

not too much
concentration
or time to talk
myself out of it

memoir cafe
sparked something
that hasn't
been lit for a while:
a smile.

dim, is not a feeling
i am accustomed
to
due i am for
something

bigger than this.

but i LOVE this.

so

within it all
i will crawl
with a light
and a pen
i will live again.

i am here,
i will conquer fear.